Some shit just can’t be made up, no matter how hard you try. So you just shot a baby from your crotch, what is the first thing you do? Why you salvage the placenta and tann it and then stuff it full of lovely fluff and sew it into a teddy hear! What did you think I was going to say? Properly place it in the medical waste bin? Tear into it like a rabid animal to the horror of your doctor? No the only fitting thing is to make your child a token of “OH HELL NO YOU DIDN’T! MY FRIENDS ARE NEVER COMING OVER!!!”.  I mean all you have to do is “… cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, you craft it into a teddy bear”, I mean how simple and non-throwing up in your mouth is that.

This guy is my long lost father. His ability to rip lines of profanity give me a girl chub. Thank you Mr. Winnebago man, I will never own a Winnebago but if I blessed with a ignorant amount of money I will find you dear sir and line your pockets with fucking Jesus shit Christ fucking ass commission.

All I can say is I have a powerful need for a pork chop sandwich.

Charlie… stay the fuck away from Candy Mountain. Nothing good can come from it. This video proves that following your friends who are tripping on acid is never a good idea.

Oh Tom Cruise you used to be hot. Remember Top Gun?? I wanted to hump your leg, how I want to hump your leg but in a different more nasty Chihuahua kinda way. Scientology oh how I love your ability to make once awesome stars look like tool bags. I bow at your awesomeness.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET YOUR FRIENDS TAPE YOU AT A REN FAIR. End of story.

And this last video… well lets just say that Obama doing blow off a hookers ass should never be caught on tape.

Here is the round up… have fun kids and keep the cameras rolling in 2010. God knows we need something to laugh at in this craptastic world.

I don’t know if this is real, there could be someone with a controller nearby playing… but I need it to be real. I need to live in a world where a fat ass bulldog can become a internet virtual skateboarding superstar. I need this in my life, like New Jersey needs to stop letting their residents get on TV

I have a Roomba, I have a cat, I have a dog… and this NEVER happens! Why?? I deserve a epic battle bots cat vs dog event in my house. We can take bets and fight them like chickens. Then you can call me Michael Vick and we can chest bump each other in a valiant show of machismo. Too far?

These guys have too much time on their hands, but that is pretty bad ass.