During this time there is one important thing to remember. DO NOT go home on your lunch and watch one of those Emergency Vets shows that plays on The Animal Planet. The title alone should warn you that this is not a good show to watch. At some point they will put a cute, fuzzy, and deeply loved animal to sleep. There will be crying children, sobbing adults, and heartfelt dialogue from Vets who wished they could have “done more” and talk about how the beloved pet was a “fighter” and you gave it the ultimate gift of “peace”. You will cry. You will snot up the house. Your eyes will swell up. You will spend the rest of the day reading stories off of the Lifetime website and crying. You will go home, put on the biggest sweatshirt and boxer shorts you have and watch Steel Magnolias, The Colour Purple, YaYa Sisterhood, Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes and hell why not Old Yeller too. While balling into a bucket of Chocolate Fudge Ripple ice cream you will repeat certain movie lines over and over again, such as “Itchy tell me a story”, “dear lord, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away” and ” OPEN YOUR EYES SHELLY, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, YOUR EYES SHELLY!!” Then you will call one of those adopt-a-poor-child-in-Africa-who-a-fly-on-its-eye-lid and you will in fact adopt-a-poor-child-in-Africa-who-a-fly-on-its-eye-lid. Sally Struthers will be so pleased.
*Eats more chocolate*

Re-posted and updated to take into consideration that Sarah Mclachlan and perfectly place kitten paws may very well be the downfall of womankind.

Now with that disclaimer out of the way let me tell you the story of Anne Hathaway and my awesome bff Zorka.  Tonight as we watched the fiasco that is 24 hour news networks we heard the following

“Outside the pristine white walls of the emergency room at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, the valets stood idle this afternoon and dark-suited men moved back and forth between the entrance and black SUVs.

Two groups of fraternity members blasted Michael Jackson songs from dueling banks of boom boxes outside the emergency room entrance.

In the circular driveway, a woman who identified herself as Michael Jackson’s cousin waited pensively with a friend. A harried man in a suit got out of his car and barked into his cellphone: “Did Latoya come in?”

Suddenly, the sound of Jackson’s music blared from speakers erected on the balcony of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity house across the street.

“Oh, now they’re playing Michael Jackson,” the suited man declared in exasperation into his phone.

As the music continued, a gaggle of crying young girls gathered in the emergency room driveway until police moved them and all the other bystanders back onto the sidewalk. There seemed to be a waiting game for members of Jackson’s family.

“Janet hasn’t gotten here yet,” the cousin said into her cellphone.

Everyone seemed to want to get a glimpse of the family members. As the crowd, grew the Jackson’s hit “Human Nature” wafted through the air from the speakers.”

Zorka looks at me and very innocently, yet slightly sarcastically replies “awwww, maybe he will hear it and come back”.  I giggle and look her “Are you crying????”. “No” she responds, almost offended. ” Well, you did cry over a dress once” I say looking at her mockingly.  She looks at me with tears filling her eyes, ” It was a beautiful dress! Fuck you!”.  Being the little bitch I am, I run to facebook and post it as a status, which earns me yet another FU.

I guess everyone one has their triggers that brings the water works. For me, it was the last 5 mins of K-9 when Jerry Lee gets shot and James Balushi takes him to the ER and threatens the doc with a gun if he doesn’t treat his dog. I cried like a bitch. For Zorka it is the impeccable styling of a glorious gown. For the some it is the passing of a musical icon. For others it was the passing of the hottest Charlies Angel of them all.  Not to forget heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeessssss Johnny! It’s been a rough week for icons.