Lets start shall we?

That’s right Basil Seed. Who the hell knew there are seeds in Basil?

Even as I look at this picture I can feel my stomach rise up and kick me in the throat. Dear lord and god why? Thousands of seamen flavored seeds of goo floating in this thick gelatinous “drink”. They had the texture of kiwi seeds and the taste of salty man spuge. This is what Christians should give their children to prevent premarital sex. I just want those seeds to start attacking each other like you see in those weird science videos.

This is about the time we moved the trash can directly in front of me.

Next is Yan Wo Drink..

Apparently Yan Wo translates to funk of bird’s ass..

I kid you not.. I am about to drink birds’ nest. Now.. I know I should not judge but fuck it.. I am American. BIRDS NEST? What no good old preservatives lying around? Instead I get to drink bottled bird mattress. I am drinking some birds two-room bungalow fron fanous Thailand! WTF? Well my lungs have been feeling a little dry, so I will give it a try. And we won’t even talk about my skins.

Apparently they left the bird funk in the can… that I drank. Like a dumb ass.

I think I just swallowed a pigeon’s sofa..

I can’t even explain what this tasted like. Much like sucking Basil Seed Juice off of a bird’s ass. The only thing this thing is good for is chasing those nasty ass demon beans I ate last week.

Next installment I take on Peanut Drink…

Notice that its says “spicy stuff”. Now exactly what is that stuff? Is stuff FDA approved? Is that all natural stuff? Organic stuff? Genetically engineered stuff? Is it stuff that would piss off Peta? Is it stuff you found in the bathroom at Flex? Can you be a little more specific about your stuff? I mean I know that Heather and I use the term stuff as in, “girl you going to fuck around with that girl and mess up your stuff” or “ that bitch punched me in my stuff” also, “that bitch made my stuff itch”… WHICH HAS NEVER HAPPENED.
Annnnnnnnnnnyway.. yeah it has spicy stuff in it. Now this just became a challenge as I had no idea what the stuff is I have to see what the stuff tastes like.
Well here is what the stuff looked like,

From here out this will be known as the demon bean. Little evil gnarled up ugly ass bean. Here is the demon bean with its demon horde of little evil gnarled up crusty ass beans.

The smell was much like nutmeg, Chinese five spice, cinnamon, cumin, and moldy hobo ass. The taste was like eating nutmeg, Chinese five spice, cinnamon, and cumin out of a moldy hobo’s ass.

After choking down the foul mixture I determined that the actual definition of “spicy stuff” is in fact moldy hobo ass. I am going to go scrape my tongue off with a wire brush now. However this whole thing was pretty damn funny so I may start accepting challenges from the audience.