Category Archives: funny
types of bitches
I ran across this at www.andiamnotlying.com today. I have to say that the number 12 bitch may be my fav of all time. I have to give it up for this 3rd graders dedication to the craft of categorizing bitches. If they ever get out of the bitch naming game they may have a career [...]
we are fungus
Check out Shrooms from Weebles stuff. Well made and I honestly cannot stop singing it… and I want to eat shrooms now.
Tis the season to be?
Christmas is the reason for the season? Jesus is the reason for the season? Wasn’t Jesus born in March? What is the reason for the season?
Placenta Teddy Bear, can you smell the what-the-fuckery???
Some shit just can’t be made up, no matter how hard you try. So you just shot a baby from your crotch, what is the first thing you do? Why you salvage the placenta and tann it and then stuff it full of lovely fluff and sew it into a teddy hear! What did you [...]
Some of the best viral videos of the decade
These should keep you laughing for a bit. These are some of the best videos of the last 10 years. Thank you fucktards of the internet, without you our lives would be less… something or another.
This guy is my long lost father. His ability to rip lines of profanity give me a girl chub. Thank [...]
Tish and I plan our future together.
(9:50:55 AM) Tish: nod nod
(9:51:03 AM) Selma: omg we could do pet recovery services
(9:51:12 AM) Selma: like Dog the Bounty Hunter
(9:51:16 AM) Tish: WITH GUNS AND SWORDS AND CHAINS!!!!
(9:51:46 AM) Selma: we can ride around in your truck wearing those alligator clamp fair feathers in our hair…
(9:51:55 AM) Tish: PAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
(9:51:56 AM) Tish: i just spit
(9:52:03 [...]
crazy ass virals of the day
I like the internet, it is full of funny things. Funny things that people took the time to tape so I can laugh at them and possibly make fun of them. It is a hard life here on Mount Judgment, the 90210 of bitter commentary.
I don’t know if this is real, there could be someone [...]
Breast milk cheese, tit milk cheese… boob cheddar!!
On this day I found someone speaking of the sheer and udder (wait for the pun, its coming) what-the-fuckery of Breast Milk Cheese.
Hardees, making me pee myself a little bit.
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The idea of warm, sweet and salty balls in my mouth makes me… [...]
PMS, Sally Struthers, Sarah Mclachlan, and Suicide
f you are female, and old enough, you will have something called PMS. During this time you will be cranky, your face will be plagued with zits in the most noticeable and irritating places, you will be fatter due to the Olympic swimming pool that your body is retaining, and if your me you will be struck with the sudden impression your feet are to big.
Selmisha drinks the nasty asian basil seed drink
So yeah that part I said about taking challenges? Yeah, well I take it all back. Someone challenged me to try those strange Asian drinks that have shit floating in them. You know the ones that people look at and say “omfg who in their right mind would drink that shit?” Well the answer is, [...]
Selmisha eats the nasty dried asian bean “stuff”
As some of you know I love Asian snacks (hush Benny, wait till story time is over) and I frequent the Grand Asian Market as often as possible. Recently I picked up this little jewel.
No visible English on the package, but from the picture you can see that it is some sort of dried bean [...]
Michael Jackson dies, Anne Hathaway and the best dress ever
Unless you have been sitting under a mammoth sized rock, you should know by now that Michael Jackson moon walked his way to… um.. heaven(?) today. Now before the MJ fans come and beat me snotty with a shiny glove, let me just say I love the dude, of course that was when I was [...]
corey haim was murdered.