Christmas is the reason for the season? Jesus is the reason for the season? Wasn’t Jesus born in March? What is the reason for the season? Big presents with elaborate bows? Stuffing yourself full of candy and ham? Is it putting on a big red suit and climbing down the chimney just to surprise your kids, only to get stuck in the chimney and die, not to be found until the family lights the fireplace for the first time and smells your stinking carcass? Wait… that was in Gremlins… anyway you get the idea.

The 0’Rileys of this world want you to think that if Wal-Mart says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas then we should boycott them and BUY our presents somewhere else. But why do we need Wal-Mart to justify the meaning of Christmas? Holidays bend and change as needed, just as the Christians (you will be) assimilated the pagan holidays, the heathens have stolen the Christian holidays. The heathens feel no pressure to include Jesus in a holiday that has come to represent gift giving and spending time with your loved ones. So what has Christmas evolved from and into? And why does the notion of Christmas and holidays belong solely to Christians?

The winter celebration seems to have started in Babylon as the feast of the Son of Isis, basically a celebrations, eating and drinking and gift giving. Sound familiar? Then there was Winter Solstice and Satunalia which pretty much followed the traditions of Babylon except they added Mummers, who are the bastard fathers of carolers. Even the Christmas tree found its roots in Winter Solstice.  So as Christianity became popular it is theorized that these pagan holidays and rituals were integrated with Christian lore to make the transition from pagan to Christian easier.

So today we have a holiday that is the bastard son of several pagan religions, which does not even fall on Jesus’s birthday, and has become focused on commercialism and one-upping your neighbor. So what is it really about now? Is it about Christ? Food? Gifts?  Sex under the Christmas tree? Friends and family? I say it is all subjective. Make it what you will! Make it a time to be a better person than you were the day before. These save Christmas nut jobs have no idea what the holiday is even about anymore. All they can see is threats from the shadows trying to take away their rights, rights they already gave away with their unsustainable fear of everything that is not like them. For better or worse we practice these rituals because they are traditions. They make us feel good, close those we love, to those we lost, they make us feel the comfort of the known.

And of course we are all hoping for a shit ton of presents this year. I would like a RC helicopter, porn and a PS3. Of course I need to wrap my house and anything that is not moving in Christmas lights. And I am going to need a blow up Christmas tree too, Oh! And nee of those old school plastic snow men… what were we talking about??