Placenta Teddy Bear, can you smell the what-the-fuckery???

Written by Big S. Filed under I see dead people, funny. Tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the Permalink. Post a Comment. Leave a Trackback URL.

Some shit just can’t be made up, no matter how hard you try. So you just shot a baby from your crotch, what is the first thing you do? Why you salvage the placenta and tann it and then stuff it full of lovely fluff and sew it into a teddy hear! What did you think I was going to say? Properly place it in the medical waste bin? Tear into it like a rabid animal to the horror of your doctor? No the only fitting thing is to make your child a token of “OH HELL NO YOU DIDN’T! MY FRIENDS ARE NEVER COMING OVER!!!”.  I mean all you have to do is “… cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, you craft it into a teddy bear”, I mean how simple and non-throwing up in your mouth is that.

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