The service is done, the debt is paid, the rent is made and paypal link is going back to the normal support this blog link. Thank you all for your support tonight and for all those who came and who wanted to come and could not. While it was a small service it was nice. The staff was awesome and very, very nice. Hamilton’s Funeral home in Wilson is a winner if you need a great staff at a reasonable price.

I got to see my black momma and that made me cry, but also made me feel really good. I found that when I hug women I do not cry,  I comfort them. Let a man hug me and I cry like a bitch. Maybe I just need a man to feel vulnerable and break down, that would explain the gay thing as I hate to be vulnerable.  I met one of my dads old school buddies who told me that him and dad were chasing the same girl and she didn’t know who she wanted to be with. She died this week, her name was Christine.  I wish I knew more about my dad from those days, when he was my age and full of spit and vinegar.  You know your family from the stories that family and friends tell, but rarely do you meet one of those old best friends that they raised hell with.

For the record I have the best friends ever. Really hands down, best group of friends ever. Fuck all your friends, mine are better.

With the service out of the way I can start to heal, start to look forward. I know I am going to miss him, how can you not. He was one of the most charismatic and charming men I have ever met. At 70 years old he was tougher than most men ever will be. In my life with him we cause more explosions and hijinks’s than I probably ever will again. He was a father, my pops, a daddy, a buddy, a best friend, a big brother, a hero, bad ass and a villain. I will miss his stories and I truly will regret not listening more or zoning out when he told the same story for the 20th time. I think I will miss watching wrestling with him the most. My entire childhood was shaped by me and daddy watching wrestling. We would watch the greats, Wahoo McDaniel, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, Rick Flair (mom’s fav), The Four Horsemen, Magnum TA as I became older it was Sting, Sid Vicious, Razor Ramon, Goldberg, Jeff and Matt Hardy, Batista, Evan “Air” Bourne (kid has SO MUCH fucking talent) and Rey Mysterio. They were our gladiators, we didn’t cared if the story was real. When they hit each other it was real, the action was real, they were still risking life and limb every night to make me and my dad jump up and yell “HOLY SHIT!!!”. I will miss that, I will still watch it and yell, “HOLY SHIT!” but I will miss not having the chance to do it with my dad. Sigh..

Like all families we had our faults, things we did wrong, things we could never say, games that were missed, feelings neglected, bad judgments… but we were a family. Family that was always there for each other, family that would have died for one another. Both my parents were there when I came into this world and I was there when both of them left this world. For that I am grateful. I saw them both to the end, held them both and watched them leave this world. I promised my mother I would take care of my father and she was free to go. I did exactly as I said I would do, I will rest a little better tonight knowing I held up my end of the deal no matter how hard it was. I will be honest, there were days I wanted to quit, but I made a promise and those types of promises you don’t forget.

For my father, I can only promise to move on with my life and keep living and honor him with my actions.