I should have known. I have been through this before. The monetary sum of honoring your loved one has the ability to suck away any left over heart and soul you have left. It makes no fucking sense. Ideally I wanted to give my father a military funeral to honor the mans service to his country. He left alot of himself on the ground in Germany, Holland, Italy and France. He lost brothers in the war, friends died beside him on D-Day, his feet would bother him for the rest of his life from frost bite from months spent jumping fox holes in Holland.  His stories would leave me breathless as a child. I wanted to honor that, however unless I blow 200 men for 50 bucks each that ain’t happening anytime soon.

So that leaves me with two options, I can either have a open casket visitation and then cremate him for around 5000 or I can cremate him and have a visitation for 3000. Do you know they charge almost a 1000 bucks to rent a casket for 2 hours. They have to replace the lining so they use that for the cremation container. I did find one place that would do the open casket wake and the cremation for 3000 but it seemed very ghetto. Not that I mind so much, I like ghetto, my family was always a little ghetto but in my heart I want to do more. I know he doesn’t care, his only wish was to be buried with mom. So the idea is to get mom a headstone that includes a urn and have him placed in that. If I go with the super ghetto option I can afford that. If I don’t it will be awhile before I can. And honestly I am not sure I want pop hanging out on my desk while I save up the cash. I guess I just feel like he has had to struggle his whole life and he has never had anything he didn’t bust his ass for, I just wanted to give him a little more.

This is just all too much. If you have a child, please have another so they don’t have to do it alone. If you have children please get burial insurance. Really, this is jacked up. I hate this so much. Not to mention I am out of vacation time and have to take the next week off unpaid. So kids, have more kids… spread this shit out!

Once I finalize the plans I will let you all know. The service will most likely be Tuesday or Wednesday evening. Instead of flowers and the such I am taking donations to help with services, link is in the side bar to the right.

This sucks.