Today was rough, lots of ups and downs. The pneumonia is not going away or getting smaller. just sitting there like a little bitch. At lunch they took him off the ventilator and off the sleepy time meds. For about a hour he was able to look at me, hold my hand, gesture and mouth commands like “change the channel”. I was able to tell him what was going on and that it was going to be ok. It seemed that things were going well… and then we noticed that blood oxygen levels were down to 70%. We added more o2 and it came up to 80%, after a few mins it dropped to 50%.

The nurse rushed me out and told me she would come get me if things got worse. Banished back to the land of hospital waiting rooms. Surrounded by worried people all surrounded by equally worried family. Crying babies, sleeping sisters, fat rednecks with mullets. Though they tainted my previous peace of a empty waiting room,  I was stuck by how alone I was, at least they had family to annoy me with. The only real family I have is currently the one laying in ICU. Which was quickly followed by the thought of being a orphan, a adult orphan… without the red curly hair and the little red dress or the rich old man. Oh well.

Finally 3:00 visiting hour rolls around and I return to find my father back on the ventilator, his lungs are still to weak. He was back on the sleep juice again and no more interactive pops. It was just to much. I hid in the stairwell and cried like a little bitch. With pop returned to his inanimate but yet stable condition, I made my way home and passed out on the couch exhausted. Then the cat woke me up by sniffing me like a dead body. Sweet.