As some of you know I love Asian snacks (hush Benny, wait till story time is over) and I frequent the Grand Asian Market as often as possible. Recently I picked up this little jewel.

No visible English on the package, but from the picture you can see that it is some sort of dried bean snack. If you ever frequent Asian markets you know that you should always check the ingredients cause lord knows what you may be eating. This one was no exception.

Notice that its says “spicy stuff”. Now exactly what is that stuff? Is stuff FDA approved? Is that all natural stuff? Organic stuff? Genetically engineered stuff? Is it stuff that would piss off Peta? Is it stuff you found in the bathroom at Flex? Can you be a little more specific about your stuff? I mean I know that Heather and I use the term stuff as in, “girl you going to fuck around with that girl and mess up your stuff” or “ that bitch punched me in my stuff” also, “that bitch made my stuff itch”… WHICH HAS NEVER HAPPENED.
Annnnnnnnnnnyway.. yeah it has spicy stuff in it. Now this just became a challenge as I had no idea what the stuff is I have to see what the stuff tastes like.
Well here is what the stuff looked like,

From here out this will be known as the demon bean. Little evil gnarled up ugly ass bean. Here is the demon bean with its demon horde of little evil gnarled up crusty ass beans.

The smell was much like nutmeg, Chinese five spice, cinnamon, cumin, and moldy hobo ass. The taste was like eating nutmeg, Chinese five spice, cinnamon, and cumin out of a moldy hobo’s ass.

After choking down the foul mixture I determined that the actual definition of “spicy stuff” is in fact moldy hobo ass. I am going to go scrape my tongue off with a wire brush now. However this whole thing was pretty damn funny so I may start accepting challenges from the audience.